Sexism is self-perpetuating

In one of his sweetest acts of parenthood, whenever my dad reads an article about gender (or anything that falls beneath that massive umbrella), he sticks a post-it ("ALEX! READ) on it and leaves it on the kitchen table. This I found today, from The Economist. It's actually incredibly interesting:

"...The gap in mathematics scores between boys and girls virtually disappears in countries with high levels of sexual equality..."

The whole theory of girls being instinctively prone to verbal skills and boys being prone to mathematics skills is kind of archaic anyway, but it seems we now have some solid evidence to throw the idea out. Surprise! If women are taught to believe they are intellectually on a par with men, they'll be intellectually on a par with men. If women are taught to believe they are going to do worse in arenas X, Y, and Z, they will. Confidence is very much a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Is there some worry that we're approaching a full 180 degree turn, and our grandsons will falter academically because the status quo is that girls are better at everything? Yes, but I call bullshit. I believe growing up male is probably equally as difficult as growing up female (although in entirely different ways) in this gender-fucked society. But as an advocate of gender equality (not female superiority) I am not losing sleep with worry that women are going to become superior. We might be gaining on the grade school front, but ultimately there is such an intense appreciation (one could argue preference, certainly) for masculinity and manhood instilled in our culture that I don't anticipate any such paradigm shift.

Also, to certain parties who may or may not read this blog, I also found this article about something that concerns us and thought you might find it as interesting as I did.

Also also, to honor Emily Gould and her slow elevation to D-List celeb status, my TMI update of the day is this: I'm watching Battlestar Gallactica in my underwear. I have achieved a new level of gross slob-dom

I love muxtape.com. It's a really simple mp3 uploading site with no clear method in the interface to do anything but stream them. Still, I'm pretty sure it's just a matter of time before some soul-crushing RIAA type shuts it down, so enjoy while you can!
Alexandrahart.muxtape.com

Courtesy of Keri:

There is nothing better than a good old fashioned video clip montage to really stir indignation. While I do love the chris matthews cosmetic bit at the beginning, I was really partial to Tucker Carlson's "When Hillary Clinton comes on television, I involuntarily cross my legs."
So, really, say what you will about Clinton's politics. But to suggest that her mere presence is offensive to someone's manhood is basically to suggest that women presumptuous enough to try to break into a boy's game are an insult to masculinity everywhere.

Honestly, I will admit I am losing interest in and respect for Clinton as a candidate, and yet I still believe that media coverage of her has been at times so blatantly sexist, and that if the "black equivalent" of most of the jokes and one-liners in this video were aired on television there would be tremendous outrage.
However, 1) I should note that I am not for a moment under some kind of delusion that the more one is victimized the better they would be at being president, and 2) a riff has existed between the women's and african american's sub-movements of civil rights activism ever since one group one voting rights before the other, and I don't really see any good in fueling what is essentially a pissing contest between two traditionally disenfranchised groups.

Still, watch the video. It'll hopefully piss you off.

I had to shank a trick once.

According to the NYTimes, the EIC on MTV's "The Paper" is going to be a freshman at NYU next year. I haven't really watched the show a whole lot but what I have seen of it has brought me back to the days of my own editor-in-chief-hood, when getting a couple dozen high schoolers to put out an ultimately irrelevant and sparsely read publication was the most important thing in the world.

My sisters' middle school has had something like 9 bomb threats over this past school year, and at least five of them have occurred in the past two months. Rather than start the phone chain, NMS has a pre-recorded message that calls everyone's houses a la blockbuster when you have overdue movies. I just got the call today; poor principal Diane Sherlock sounds so pissed. I pity the depressed moody thirteen year old who gets caught.

you know, for all my junior high-era obsession, I was almost ready to write off weezer. Their fifth album sucked hard and rivers cuomo was kind of douchey. But not only do I really like this song, I also really like this video:



Also, Brian Bell is still a sex demi-god.

Q. What could be more degrading than a debutante ball?

A. A father-daughter purity ball!
Oh, barf.
No, I do not think it is wrong to teach your children the benefits of abstinence. My own parents took a somewhat opposite approach, for which I am very thankful, but I don't think it's a bad parenting message, as long as you approach the situation realistically. What really grosses me out is how this whole affair serves to promote "purity" as one of a girl's greatest assets.

"Premarital sex is seen as inevitably destructive, especially to girls, who they say suffer more because they are more emotional than boys. Fathers, they say, play a crucial role in helping them stay pure."

Of course, because our fathers are our keepers and protectors, and have a lot invested in our purity because without it we'll only be worth a dowry of like, 2 sick sheep.

So yeah, to paraphrase: I don't mean to get in the way of people instilling their values in their kids, but what kind of demented sexual message are you giving your daughter if you essentially teach her that her hymen is one of the best things she's got going for her?

Stories like this just make me so grateful to have been raised by a liberal, sexually realistic, honest, modern family.

Fuck You, Phyllis Schlafly

So, Phyllis Schlafly, the woman-hating-woman who, in 2007, said this:

"By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape."

got her honorary degree from WashU after all, although several hundred commencement ceremony attendees stood up to turn their back on her. Schlafly gained much of her infamy from her comments on the illegitimacy of marital rape claims, but also has been responsible for such gems as:

"Sexual harassment on the job is not a problem for virtuous women, except in the rarest of cases. Men hardly ever ask sexual favors of women from whom the certain answer is no. Virtuous women are seldom accosted." -TIME Mag 1981

and

“Sex education classes are like in-home sales parties for abortions.” -EagleForum newsletter

and countless other ridiculous attacks on feminism, the ERA, women in scientific fields...oh hell, the whole female half of the population in general.

But what I think is so funny is her reaction to the silent protesters, who she referred to as "losers" and "not mature enough to graduate." And also, the introductory comment (from Margaret Bush Wilson): "It is Phyllis Schlafly’s persona — not her politics or views — which is being recognized here today." Okay...why? Why would we applaud "persona" or success and disregard values? Schlafly is a St Louis native-- I'm sure there are plenty of charming hospitable racists who can make great Jell-O salad, but most southern states are probably not looking to elect them as representatives. "Mein Kampf" has sold hundreds of copies but the University of Berlin is not going to have a neo-Nazi commencement speaker. UGH.

Fuck the Daily Mail

The Daily Mail ran a story today about Cynthia Nixon of Sex and the City fame and her girlfriend. The whole article itself is pretty much centered around her lesbian relationship, which is like four years old so the story itself seems to be, well, NOT one at all. But what really pisses me off is the language The Daily Mail uses to describe Nixon's girlfriend. She is "burly," an activist who is "'a great big lesbian in a lumberjack shirt'" who tries "to be as unladylike as possible." And so on and so on Cynthia Nixon is pretty and her girlfriend is a big butch manly lesbian etc etc etc. Just go to the article-- the whole thing reads so utterly retro and 1970s it's actually kind of comical.

Being home from college, V2.0

last night my 11-year-old sister asked me the definition of the words clitoridectomy and masturbation. I think I answered both very well.

Haley Keane woke me up at the ungodly hour of 10:30am. In my absence, she has taken to wearing an unnecessary arm sling and a trucker hat that says "HARVARD SUCKS." I am not sure what my level of alarm should be.

Haley, should you read this, I have your cell phone. My b.

NARAL endorsed Obama, which is cool, I like the guy and totally believe he will support reproductive rights. But why come out on one side before the DNC has? Even if you believe the race is over and Obama's got it, for purely symbolic purposes it seems out of line.

I'm really into the blog SorryIMissedYourParty right now. It makes my first year college experience seem less trashy.

May is beautiful but this is the second year in a row that this month a strange quiet falls over my family, because mother's day, my mom's birthday, and my parent's anniversary all fall within about a week of each other. I am still here at school even though nearly everyone else is gone and I'm hacking away at the 5 pages I have left to this Russian history essay and it's just such a bummer.
I think she would think I'm a pretty sweet kid.

Brilliant.

Utterly brilliant.

Have my job!

As much as it bums me out, I'm leaving my job over the summer since I'm not going to be in the city (in Albany, rather, working as a summer camp counselor because yes, I am that precious). So my boss is looking for someone to replace me. If you're gonna be in NY over the summer and you might be interested in a part-time internship in the public affairs department of Planned Parenthood NYC, let me know.

Me and Devin and Chris saw this last night


at the IFC, and it was wonderful. I think you can be sure that a movie is good if, upon leaving, you feel as if you've just been beaten up really bad.

happy what the fuck friday

So, as everyone probably already knows (seeing as it has been on pretty much every major news outlet for the past 16 hours), Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the "DC Madam", allegedly committed suicide after being found guilty of running a prostitution ring under the guise of an escort service in our nation's capital.

I'm not going to get too far into my personal stance on prostitution (in short, that while I recognize it as a horrible, painful, degrading last-resort for a great majority of women, and that it is a complex concept with many, many more faces than just that of the young, pretty call girl hired by Eliot Spitzer, I also consider it to be an extension of the ingrained societal rule-of-thumb that women can capitalize off their sexuality, and hence, while I know most prostitutes are not doing it for empowerment, I really fucking hate the idea that this government gets to say it's illegal) because I don't think this is really going to open up that commentary. It's actually the media coverage that I most want to take issue with. To paraphrase my roommate Keri, TV news commentators are pretty much saying, well, this woman was a whore who did bad whore things, but now she's dead so we don't have to punish her for being such a whore anymore.

The trial that was, in the words of Vanessa Valenti, a "slut-shaming witch hunt", a perfect example of a use of the legal system to chastise and further restrain female sexuality and bodily autonomy, destroyed and degraded women while arguably letting their clients off the hook. Several hundred DC men allegedly paid for sex through Palfrey; Vitter is the only one we've seen in the news and he hasn't resigned.

And, lastly, at the risk of sounding like a crazy person, I do need to point out that Brandy Britton, one of Palfrey's employed prostitutes, was, a ways back, charged with prostitution and found guilty. She also had an allegedly high profile clientele list, and she also offed herself before going to prison. I'm not saying Palfrey and Britton had bounty hunters take them out, just that it's a coincidence worth considering-- could they have potentially acted out of more than just shame but perhaps some higher up's threat? And even if that's untrue, what kind of culture are we living in where the shame of doing something that is not about hedonism or slutdom or wrath or sin but about figuring out how to pay your motherfucking bills can cause so much shame women would rather be dead than endure it?

Everytime I hear about the story of the Austrian man who kept his daughter hostage for 24 years, I feel really really sick. Like most people, I regularly read or hear news stories that make me angry or indignant or frustrated. But I almost never encounter one that makes me so uncomfortable, so uneasy and nauseous. I can't even begin to break this up, but here are my first three thoughts on the subject.
1) This woman is 42, which means that more than half her life has been spent in captivity. I cannot even fathom 24 years. How do you even begin to, at 42, recover from this? (This reminds me, a little, of a book I read a couple years ago about Munchausen's Syndrome by proxy, called Sickened)

2) What does rape become when it is so frequent for so long? What word could possibly mean worse than rape?

3) This man is clearly very sick, because I believe this is far outside the realm of
evil and well into that of mentally unstable. But what societal factors make mental illness manifest itself in this sexually perverse, incestuous, paternalistically abusive way?