Top 4 Dumbest Fashion Statements Made By College Girls

I don't know the first thing about fashion. I have two outfits: Office Environment, which is something that is not jeans mixed with something that is not a "BAY AREA POETRY SLAM 2006" t-shirt, and All Other Environments, which is a combination of any of the myriad of articles of clothing I own, most of which are acrylic blends and most of which I accumulated during my two years of indentured minimum wage servitude at Forever 21. But in spite of my naivete, I am totally equipped and entitled to judge the fashion decisions of others.

4. Plaid work shirts. Ladies, just because we might have made great strides in achieving employment equality doesn't mean we have to dress in a way that serves as a constant reminder that we too can be lumberjacks and factory workers. It is not, in fact, cute (nor is it ironic) to wear a big plaid shirt with tiny little jeans and some gaudy gold pendant that is probably, if my memory of days of sorting through hundreds of tangled necklaces at Forever 21 is correct, like, owls and elephants and shit. You look utterly ridiculous.

3. Leggings as pants.

I must admit. Yesterday, I walked in the rain and muck to my boyfriend's place wearing purple leggings and a Hanes undershirt. But this was not a #4 Dumbest Fashion Statement, because I was so blatantly scrubbin' it. If it is Sunday and raining and a holiday weekend, and your hair is natty and all you want to do is finish your homework and watch plastic surgery shows on TLC, then it is acceptable to wear leggings. Be that as it may, they are not an attractive look on anyone except the borderline emaciated. Why would you abandon the potential to wear something that has a cool silhouette for something that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. Leggings are gross and should be reserved for dancers and grade-schoolers, not 19 year old girls with asymmetrical haircuts and cowboy boots.

2. The Keffiyah.

In addition to looking sloppy and generally unkempt, it's kind of racist and really stupid. Maybe, maybe this is appropriate if you are a well-informed Palestine supporter who does not wear their scarf with the same smug arrogance as so many hipsters, but for the most part these are being worn by people who are at the very most only vaguely aware that the trend originated somewhere in the Middle East before it came to Urban Outfitters.

1. Hideous glasses

Ugh! To read, my mom sometimes had to wear these absurd thick rimmed glasses that she had left over from being a grad student in the 80s and I used to make fun of her for it. Now identical glasses are popping up on the delicate little faces of my peers. This is the female equivalent of men's Kanye West "shade" glasses, only even dumber and more hideous. And don't even give me any of that "they're prescription I need them!" shit-- if you need glasses then get normal glasses or contacts like every other civilized person. Not only is this heinous, but wearing them isn't even cool or ironic anymore. So the only potential benefit your absurd glasses could have reaped is nullified. Get out.