what am I NOT thinking?

three extremely important things:

1) Chris selflessly gave me his ticket to SNL so despite not having endured the full agony of waiting I still got to go, and it was truly one of the coolest experiences ever. Everything is much much much smaller than one would think.

2) Monday morning I woke up and peeled (I initially wrote "unpeeled"?) a banana for breakfast but for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about how much it seemed to resemble a penis in weight and girth and it bothered me so much that I threw it out. Go ahead and pick the Freudian shit out of that one; I apologize to starving orphans who would have loved that phallic banana.

3) There is nothing quite like realizing you are totally willing to eat a grocery store's garbage totally sans compensation and purely for the sake of (assisting with) reporting to reaffirm your faith in the fact that yes, journalism is really what you should be doing.