I wanna go to rehab.

For a mere kilobuck a night, you can stay in the Cirque Lodge rehabilitation center in Utah (currently accomodating Lindsay Lohan's ginger ass). Amenities include private fireplaces, jacuzzis, and "spectacular views". You know, for that much money, I would damn well expect alcohol if I wanted it.

I know this is going to make me sound like a total recluse, but I kind of see the appeal of going on vacation alone. Or maybe just holding up somewhere for a week. I would totally check myself into one of these celebrity rehab spots if I could get a discount due to the fact that I'm not an alcoholic or drug addict.